What happens in a Dormitory, stays in- What? A Broadcast!
by Momiji D
Summary: Seamus and Dean played a bad joke on Lavender. Ron and Neville didn't help. United by Girl's power, Hermione, Parvati and Lavender want revenge. Sadly the fruit of their efforts fell in Umbridge's hand. She invited the ministry at Hogwarts, the order of phoenix is also here. It will be showed. Why is it always Harry that has to pay for everyone's shit? SLASH or No pairing. OotP.
1. Chapters 1-5

**Hello everyone! I know I should update my other fiction, but I wanted to do a new fanfiction at the same time. This story will be update whenever I want, or when I have an idea.**

 **Synopsis : Seamus and Dean played a bad joke on Lavender. Ron and Neville didn't help. United by Girl's power, Hermione, Parvati and Lavender want revenge. Sadly the fruit of their efforts fell in Umbridge's hand. Ministry's invited at Hogwarts, it will be showed. Why is it always Harry that has to pay for this?**

 **Main characters : Harry, Hermione, Ron, Neville, Lavender, Parvati, Seamus, Dean.**

 **Pairing : For now no pairing. Maybe HP/NL and HG/RW.**

 **Genre : Humor, Drama, maybe some H/C but for now, the main genre is Humor.**

 **Disclaimer : I don't own Harry Potter, and never will...**

Writing

"-speaking"

 _'thinking' I only used it one time in this page._

 _Everything else in italics means it's in the video._

* * *

 **Chapter 1 : Why you should never anger a girl.**

Hogwarts is a boarding school for wizards and witches, it was the best school in the United Kingdom. Of course as it was a boarding school, witches and wizards spend their school year in Hogwarts, they returned home only for holidays, not for the weekends. Hogwarts has a house system, there are four houses, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, Slytherin and Gryffindor. They each have their own characteristics, they are different and the majority of the students represent them. Of course, they all share every characteristics, but their prominent traits divided them in four houses. Each of the houses have their own dormitories, it was literally like a house. For example, Hufflepuff's were near the kitchen, Ravenclaw's in a tower, Slytherin in the dungeons. Gryffi dor's was also in a tower, and this is were this story'll begin, and more precisely, in Hermione's dormitory.

"- I can't believe it!" exclaimed a Curly blonde hair girl to

her bestfriend Parvati.

Hermione sighed. Why did they have to be so loud? Couldn't they let her read in peace? They had the OWL's this year, they shouldn't be giggling and gossiping as always. For four years she had to share this dormitory with them. Hillary Hummington, Adelaide Grace, Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil. The former two were non-existant, Hermione only saw them in their room, they were two close friends and well... Hermione couldn't become one of them. Those two didn't care about her, they saw her as a roommate, point. However, Lavender and Parvati were different, they had tried to be her friends, and she had tried to be accepted, it just wasn't mean to be. They were interested in make-up, boys, clothes, she was more of a bookworm. Sometimes they made fun of her, but it was when they were children ( she likes to think she was more mature than them in first year). Now, they were not her close friends (Harry and Ron), they were not her friends ( Neville and Ginny), they could be considered as more than acquaintances. They greeted each other, spoke sometimes, she had helped them with some homeworks, and they had helped her to prepare for the yule ball.

"- Are you serious?!" exclaimed Parvati.

She was an indian pureblood witch, she had olive skin, brown eyes, and long silky black hair. Her bestfriend, Lavender, was also a beauty, curly dirty blond hair,, brown eyed, light skinned, and a pureblood witch. They were typical Gryffindor, loud, brash, and surly brave (deep there). But they also were giggly girls, and this was disturbing poor Hermione with her reading. Closing the Defence against the Dark Arts book ( Professor Umbridge won't be a great teacher, she'll ask Harry to teach them in the worst case), Hermione opened the curtains from her part of the room.

There was something wrong, Lavender looked mad, and Parvati on the verge of explosing. Her curiosity was awake.

"- What happened?"

The two girls glanced at her, and glanced at each other. For the first time they were silent, sadly Hermione knew that it meant something wrong. They looked at her again, and suddenly walked toward her. Parvati closed the door from their bedroom. Lavender sat down on her bed and pouted while glaring at the ground. Hermione was really surprised, this situation was getting more and more strange. Parvati walked again toward them, she decided to sit on the redish carpet orning their room. With hesitance, the bushy haired girl sat in front of her. Parvati looked at her with seriousness.

"- Hermione."

"- Yes?" inquired Hermione with a high voice.

"- We need you."

"-..." Hermione was slightly lost, but decided to ask why. It was Lavender that explained.

"- You remember in the first week of school, we were all eating lunch at th same time, there was not a lots of people at the table. Dean and Seamus were joking with us?"

Hermione tried to remember, honestly she had a good memory, but this was not really helpful, they were always joking around. The confusion must have been showing in her face, and Parvati decided to help Hermione.

"- I was wearring my rubies earrings."

Now she remembered! Dean and Seamus were joking around, and... They also joked about Lavender's breast size. The girl had developed faster than Hermione, and her's were bigger than Parvati. It was mean. Lavender and Parvati watched Hermione researching in her mind the needed information. Lavender continued.

"- I thought they were joking around when they said, they'll try to catch a glimpse of- of- of my boobs!" Her eyes were getting teary. Parvati consoled the poor girl, her eyes screaming for revenge.

"- T-they p-payed the Creevey boy to take a photo of me." Explained a sobbing Lavender. "Of course I caught t-them. B-but! B-but WAAAH!" and she was crying again.

Hermione wanted to kill them all. They had their OWLS, OWLS! Couldn't they be more mature. Suddenly Lavender got up and took both of Hermione's hands in her own, her teary honey brown eyes looking at Hermione. Was she giving her the puppy look?

"- H-hermione!" she shouted.

"- Y-yes?" stuttered the bright young woman.

"- You will help me r-right? T-take revenge?"

Honestly, she didn't have the time, nor the patience to deal with their childish foreplay. But. Dean and Seamus shouldn't have done that, it was firstly a breach of privacy, a bad joke, and how could they be sure Lavender would be the one in the shower. It could have been any of the girl. It could have been her. HER. There was no way she was going to let it pass! But why didn't Ron and Harry tell her this plans? Or Neville? Wasn't he kind?

"- Don't worry Lav' Hermione will help you and us? Right? This was cowardly! This was not right!" Parvati's eyes were lighted with fire. If only this girl could have helped her with SPEW...

"- Of course, don't worry Lavender!"

* * *

 **Chapter 2 : The Plan.**

Hermione decided to confront her friends, after consolling the crying Lavender, and letting her in Parvati's care, she walked down in the common room. She jumped the last step, no one saw her. In the couch near the fireplace, Ron and Neville were speaking, Neville more shyly.

"- Ron! Neville!" she waved her hand in greeting.

"- I thought you were reading?" asked Ron.

"- Hello Hermione." said the shy boy.

"- Hello to you too Ronald. How are you Neville?"

"- Great and you? I discovered that the Mimbulus Mimbletonia makes odd noises when I touch it gently!"

"- Oh that's great! I'm fine. But I wanted to ask you why you didn't tell me about Seamus and Dean's plan for Lavender or the girls?"

Both of them had a guilty look. She could see in Ron's eyes, the boy wanted the Creevey boys to be successful, she glared full force at him. What a a- a- a prick! Neville looked a little guilty.

"- I didn't think they would really do that... I thought they were joking..." Neville was really innocent.

"- Did they succeed?" Ron tried to ask as if he wasn't interested. Neville facepalmed, she would have be amused to see such a reaction from the shy boy, but she was more angry.

"- RONALD. I'll be scolding you! You are a prefect, you should have done something! This was uncorrect, I hope you'll apologize to poor Lavender."

"- You're just angry because you had to confort her." Grumbled the red head, his ears were pink.

"- H-hermione nothing happened right?" asked Neville. She nodded. "So don't worry, and Ron didn't reallly think they were serious you should be angry at Seamus and Dean, it was those two's idea."

"- You're right Neville!" she realised, Ron didn't really do anything, yes he didn't help Lavender, but... he didn't plan this. Sighing she asked a last question. " What about Harry?"

"- What aboout Harry?" asked a confused Ron.

"- Did he know?"

"- No Harry isn't like that, he didn't even know." Neville spoke with force and courage.

"-Okay... Where is he?"

"- Toilet." They answered at the same time, Neville with renewed shyness.

"-I'm going to the library." She went away.

* * *

She finally found it! This spell will work. Returning in the dormitory, she saw the two girls painting their nails, Laveder looked a little better than one hour ago. Parvati saw her and smiled.

"- Hermione we bought it!"

"- Good."

"- You really are going to help me?" asked Lavender with a sweet innocent voice. Weird.

"- Yes. Parvati when will it come?"

"- Tomorrow morning."

"- Marvellous. I found the spell, of course."

"- Is it really going to function?" asked the curly haired girl.

"- Of course." answered Hermione, as if she would fail.

Even if Harry, Neville and Ron were innocent (or less guilty than Seamus and Dean), they were going to take revenge. She already gave detention to Seamus and Dean. But, it didn't give them satisfaction. Their plan was simple, they were going to put a video camera on the boys room, and everything will be filmed, the idea came from the Creevey's magical camera. She had searched in the library in the more recent books. She had find a spell that could trigger a magical camera, and with some ancient rune, it will function exactly the same way as a video camera! She was a genius!

* * *

They had finally finished! The three girls cackled. This was perfect! This camera will function only between their curfee and 11 o'clock. Neville and Ron had explained everything to Lavender and said they were sorry. The blonde of course accepted, she even blushed a little at Ron. But she said she would continue her revenge. Dean and Seamus came and also apologize to her, Lavender saw that they didn't mean it, and only wanted to apologize, so Hermione will stop with the detention. She gave them the cold shoulder. She had the right.

The plan was simple Hermione will go to the boys dormatory, because she always went there when she needed to speak to her friends. She would put the camera in their room, she had chosen to stick it above the door with a strong Disillusionment Charm, this will unable the camera to film the boys when they will all do boy things on the weekend from 9 o'clock to 11 o'clock. Ron had admit that they slept this late on the weekend. Hermione had snorted, on the weekend the girl only went to bed at one in the morning. Sometimes the boys were so innocent.

They had planned to film for one month, and take back the camera after that, to blackmail the boys.

* * *

 **Chapter 3 : Crookshanks's adventure.**

Umbridge roamed through Hogwarts. Every problems accumulated. The three girls forgot the camera. Crookshank was wandering in the common room, his mistress was busy. He climbed the stairs, his mistress room was closed. He was lucky, her mistress' friends room was open. Crookshank entered. He was part kneazle, he felt the strange magic on the door. He analysed the room. He climbed bed to bed, jumped and caught a drawer, he was high enough. The intelligent cat jumped toward the door, he caught the invisible sticked camera. But as he caughed the camera, he went through the half open door, the door with the force fling open. Crookshank and the camera were ejected outside, the door collided itself against the walls with a 'BAM', and closed itself. Crookshank and the weird object were outside. Great.

The cat decide to go out with the object, he went down with it. A witch saw the cat scratching at the door from the common room. It was the cat from Hermione, one of the member of the Golden Trio. She helped the cat to go out. Crookshank was walking in Hogwarts with the object, he wanted to show it to Hedwig, her mistress' friend's owl. He walked toward the owlery, he drop the object when he saw his friend getting attacked by a pink ball. He rushed to save poor Hedwig, mewling at her to go away as she attacked the pink ball. Hedwig hooted and escaped. Crookshank escaped.

"- Stupid cat! If you weren't a cat!" Hissed Dolores walking away. Her foot met the camera. " What is this?"

* * *

Miss Umbridge returned to her office. This was a camera. Wanting to glimpse at it, she clicked on play. She was sadly a halfblood, she knew how it function, her little squib sister couldn't stop speaking about _her_ world.

"- Harry you're such a liar!

\- well others don't know so I don't care."

She clicked on pause. Someone had filmed the boys! And Potter had said he was a liar. It was all working for her ! Umbridge had a great weapon in her hand !

"- Dolores you really are the best !"

Praising herself, she wrote a letter to the Minister.

* * *

 **Chapter 4 : Could have swear it was about Time-travel.**

"- Dumbledore!"

Dumbledore was a little startled and let his spoon fell in his dinner, when the minister came in the Great Hall. He really should do something about the wards. A thought occured to him. Maybe it was one of those moment. He didn't think it was possible. This sort of things happened only in those strories he loved to write. Maybe they will see the children of Mr Potter, maybe a Albus Severus Potter, and a Rose Weasley, will there be a Scorpius Malfoy dating the girl, a prankster by the name of James Sirius? That's why he talked mentally to Fawkes, his Phoenix to warn the order. They were coming.

Harry had a bad feeling, with the minister came Amelia Bones, Tonks, Shacklebot, Moody, was that Malfoy Senior? and some unknow people, and people he met at that 'party' in the graveyard. His feeling were getting worse as he saw Skeeter and some other journalist. What was happening? His hand hurt, Umbridge got up proudly, oh shit! What was going to happen?! He glanced with worry at Ron and Hermione. Suddenly a worried looking McGonagall came in the room with the Order of Phoenix, the majority of them were Weasley. Remus came with a dog, Snuffle was jumping up and down as he saw Harry. This worried more Harry, because the Minister and his Auror were there too! What was happening?

"-Dumbledore!" The minister shouted again. Dumbledore really wanted to make a sarcastic comment, but he had to appear old and wise, ' _oh Gellert, I wish to return to those days when we wre young, and could do what we_ wanted.' Returning to reality, Dumbledore smiled at Fudge. "Dolores said that she found a mean to prove the lies of Mr. Potter."

Harry groaned, what did he do to fate? Hermione and Ron looked at Harry.

"- Don't worry mate, you're not a liar, so maybe if the truth came Snuffle will be free." Ron said, and Hermione looked proudly at Ron.

Harry tried to smile, but it came as a grimace. Frankly speaking he had a weird feeling. Conversely, Dumbledore was guessing Umbridge had received books from the futur, books about the past years of Mr. Potter.

"- Hem, hem." Everyone winced at the Toad. "I will need five more minutes. Please take place everyone. I'll be back." And she went away.

"- Sweet Salazar, five minutes of peace, wishes do became true." Drawled Snape.

"- Please Severus, if wishes were true, she would have never come to Hogwarts." answered McGonagall.

The ministry worker, at least the most important were sitting with the teachers. The others such as the Auror, and Order took places with the students, some such as Shacklebot favored to sit with their former house, Ravenclaw. And others were sitting were they wanted. The only one who did not sit, was Mad-eye, he decided to stand near a curtain. Paranoia can do so much to a person.

At the Gryffindor table the rate of red heads had reached a new record, Harry was between Ron and Snuffle, near the Dog was Remus, in front of Harry Hermione, on her right was Ginny and Neville, on her left Tonks took a sit.

* * *

Five minutes later Umbridge came with Filch. Filch tried to attach a big white cover. Flitwick sighed before helping the man using charms. It covered the part of the wall where was the door of the Hall.

"-Hem, hem."

Wincing again everyone looked at the pink wearing woman. Harry really had a bad feeling, Dumbledore too, there was no books from the futur !

"- Two days ago I was wandering in the owlery."

"- Why? You're more of a toad than a bird." muttered Seamus, everyone near him hide their snorts, giggles.

"- And suddenly, I found a camera, and there it was, the truth about Potter, he said he was a liar. So I decided to see every content of this video with you all. So, you'll see the Lies of Potter."

Pureblood looked confused at the term Video. The journalist recognized the device. But the most stricking expression was Hermione's.

"- Oh no."

Harry and Ron looked at her pale face, she was so pale, sickly looking. But she didn't look at them, she looked at Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil. The two other girls looked exactly the same way as Hermione.

"-What is it Hermione?"

"- Harry... The video..." She was lost. Hermione didn't know how to explain, her face screamed guilty. It was Lavender who spoke.

"- Guys I'm sorry! I wanted to take revenge and-" she was cut by Umbridge who started the show. The fifth year Gryffindor looked dead. The others looked at them weirdly.

* * *

 **Chapter 5 : The start of their humiliation.**

The projection started, they were in a bedroom, the ravenclaws were quick to understand it was Harry's dormitory. The others recognized the room because of the red color. The room was not clean, there was two part really clean, Harry's because he had near nothing, Neville's, it was decorated with some plant, and the famous mimbulus Mimbletonia, Ron's part was the messiest, Dean and Seamus's were average, Dean's was decorated with soccer posters, the major part of Slytherin glanced at the posters, they didn't move, it was strange. Seamus's part had some socks on the ground. The door opened and came Ron and Seamus. The boys dreaded about what this camera would show. The three girls were still feeling guilty, and were slightly curious.

 _Seamus and Ron sat down on Ron's bed._

 _"- Hey Ron did you finish that potion homework?"_

 _"- Of course I did! With Hermione everything is possible when it comes to homework. One day, when I'll be a graduate student I will throw every piecce of potion homework to Snape! And he won't be able to give me detention! Take that greasy git!"_

Snape and Mrs Weasley glared at the blushing redhead, he was so in deep shit. A thougt occured to him.

"- Mate," he croaked to Harry. "Everything will be reaveled, I mean EVERYTHING." Harry shared a look with Neville, Seamus, Dean and Ron. They all got up at once. The video put itself on 'pause'. And they exclaimed at the same time.

"- We're all sorry about everything you'll hear about our view on you."

They didn't run because they were Gryffindor. Harry glanced at Padfoot and Moony, Ron at his family, this was going to be embarassing...

 _Both of the boys laughed. Enter Dean Thomas. He was dripping of water, he wasn't wearing a shirt. He was gorgeous._

 _"- What are you laughing at?"_

 _"- Snape." Said the other two._

 _"-Hey guys!" Neville came. "How is my plant?"_

 _"- Don't know mate." answered Ron._

 _"- Did one of you gave water to it?" asked Neville._

 _Dean looked at Seamus who looked at Ron who looked at Dean, the three turned their heads back at Neville and blinked slowly._

 _"- I did." came a voice from under Harry's bed._

 _They were all startled, Ron Dean and Seamus screamed, and Neville startled asked,_

 _"-Harry?"_

 _"- Yes?"_

 _"- What are you doing underneath your bed?" asked Neville._

 _"- Mate, are you okay?" asked Ron._

 _"- Yes."_

 _"- Will you answer to Neville's question?" asked a bemused Seamus._

 _"- Yes."_

 _"- Harry ! " Dean groaned. Harry's answer was giggles. "Oh my god Seamus ! Did you let firewhiskey near Harry?"_

 _"- What? No !" Seamus denied, before he paused. " well... I did forget the butterbeer in which I experimented..."_

 _"- Seamus!" Exclaimed Ron." What are we going to do?"_

 _"- What we did last time. Take care of Harry." Neville said wth seriousness. " We'll do the same thing as last time." The others grumbled._

The Great Hall was confused, and Harry looked at his friends. "Why don't I remember this?"

"- Mate, you er... you were drunk." answered Ron.

"- I was what?" Harry was shocked.

"-Drunk, I'm sorry Harry." said Seamus, blushing.

 _Neville looked at Ron, who sighed, before going to the bed._

 _"- H-Harry d-d-dear? Will you come to m-momma?" asked Ron in a high voice._

The great Hall laughed. Hermione looked at Ron and at Harry, her head was going back and forth watching the two. Remus looked at Ron as if he was a weird creature, Snuffle was rolling in the ground. The twins were doing an imitation of mother Ron. Slytherins were laughing there ass of.

 _"- Will you gimme cookies if I come?" asked Harry in a child tone_ _._

 _"- But dear, you already eat, it will spoil your stomach."_

Mrs Weasley looked at her son in a new light. He was right.

 _"- No. I want cookies. Or I will stay forever and ever underneath my bed."_

"- Please do Potter. The world would be at peace." said a smirking Snape. Minerva glared at him, she found Childlike Potter cute.

 _"- Harry listen to your momma, or she will be sad." Said Dean._

 _"- Uncle Deedee? Is that you?" asked Harry._

 _"- Yep and here am I, uncle Mouse." said Seamus._

 _"- Kyaaaa." Harry cooed._

Harry facepalmed, this was ridiculous.

The video continued, they saw all of them doing everything so that baby Harry would be Happy. Baby Harry jumping in 'Brother Nene''s arm. Mother Ron trying to act like a mother, keeping Harry happy. Uncle Mouse and uncle Deedee doing faces so Harry would laugh.

"- At least you'll make good babysitters." said a smirking Harry. The others only blushed. They has promised that no one would discover what happens in their dorm, and they wanted to hide the truth to Harry. The guy never remembered anything when he was drunk. Thankfully it had only happened four times, they were quite unlucky to have one of those time on a screen.

"- Mr. Finnigan, I hope you will stop bringing firewhiskey in school, and in your dormatory. You will of course bring everything from your room."

"- Yes professor McGonagall." Seamus pouted.

* * *

 **A/N : Hope you liked =)**


	2. Chapters 6-9

**Hello world how are you ? I found some inspiration =)**

 **To** _godess bubbles_ **: I'm happy to know you liked it, so here's chapter 2, yep I think it's going to be a Neville/Harry and I can assure you that it'll be at least mentioned. Oh and our Longbottom is going to top this time.**

 **Disclaimer : I don't own Harry Potter, and I never will *cry* oh and I don't own the song Primadonna girl ( from MARINA & tHE DIAMONDS).**

Writing

"speaking"

 _Video_

 _"speaking in the video"_

 **Now, going back to the chapter.**

* * *

 **Chapter 6 : How did the Toad got the camera ?**

Hermione muttered under her breath. Harry and Ron glanced at each other, what was bothering their friend ? Of course, if it was homework they wouldn't care she would have gone to the library, but they kinew their friend, and this time this was not about homeworks. Harry glared at Ron, Ron shakes his head, no way he'll ask, Ron raised an eyebrow and glanced at Harry with a weird look in eyes, 'you speak to her !' Harry rolled his eyes.

"- Hermione."

"- What."

Ouch. That was cold.

"- Are you , er, okay ?"

"- Oh. Oh yes Harry, sorry... I was thinking about the camera."

"- What about it ?" asked Ron.

"- It was sticked in your room, so I was thinking about how it came in Umbridge's hand. It's strange, no ?"

"- You don't think she went in our room !" Ron nearly shouted, thankfully, people were still speaking about their previous humiliation.

"- No Ron, it's not possible. The fat lady would have told you or Hermione ?"

"- Huh, why us ?"

"- We are prefet Ronald."

"- Ah yeah..."

In the teacher's table, the woman in pink who look like a toad was getting redder. Firstly, the first scene of this video didn't show what she wanted, of course it did punish Potter, but not enough. She was sure the truth was in this video, maybe hidden in the middle. She wanted to continue to watch the video.

"- Silence !" shriecked Umbridge.

The hall shut up, not beacause they respected her, it was all about her voice. Who wanted to hear that annoying shrill voice ? Not them. They already have to bear with her in classes.

 **Chapter 7 : The world is doomed.**

The video started again because everyone was silent. The five boys were sweating of anticipation, what will be showed ? Couldn't Dumbledore do something to help them ? No, thought Harry, he was eager to watch this, or maybe he tought it was something else ? After Dumbledore was Dumbledore.

 _Only Harry was in the dormatory, strangely enough he was on the ground laying there, gazing at the ceiling. He was also moving his feets in the air doing nothing. In the backgroung, water could be heard running._

Everyone looked strangely at the boy-who-lived in the video, he was doing something so normal, it was weird. Some students looked with disbelief. Wasn't he losing time ? Couldn't he be more productive ? Hermione snorted. Harry glanced at her.

"- I do it too when I have nothing to do."

The both of them shared a smile.

"- I do it too." piped Ginny, wanting Harry to glance at her, but to confort him too.

"- I don't"started Ron,"look like I'm the only who is normal." Hermione slaped his head.

 _Harry sighed and rolled on the floor, Hogwarts was his home. Getting bored he yelled._

 _"- Ron ! Nev' !"_

"- _yes Harry ?" Two voiced shouted back from the shower."_

 _"- When are you both finished ?"_

 _"- Er, ten minutes mate." answered Ron._

 _"- More than five Harry." said Neville._

 _Harry groaned. "i'm sooo bored !"_

 _"- You should do your homework, no ?"_

The hall freeze. That voice belong to Ron. Ron Weasley. The world was doomed. Hermione looked in shock at Ron, the blushing red-head mouthed 'wait for it' to her.

 _Harry froze. One of the shower stopped._

 _"- NEVILLE BE CAREFUL THAT'S NOT RON !"_

 _" - Don't worry I have my wand !"_

 _"- I'm more worried now." Harry tried to get up, but he was tangled weirdly, "Er, I'm coming Nev'!"_

 _"- I WAS JOKING BOTH OF YOU! Are you mad ?! Let me shower in peace !"_

The world was safe ! Some people rolled their eyes, they should have know. The twins were proudly one of the only one who didn't believe a change in Ron's personnality. Hermione didn't know if she should be angry or not.

 **Chapter 8 : The boy, wait, the girl-who-lived ?**

 _Harry was already up and groaned, now what he was going to do, the warm carpet would be cold again, he walked toward the mirror and decided to try again to brush his hair, maybe he'll be successful ? He glared at the mirror, or more at his hair._

 _"- One day I'll win." muttered Potter._

The majority of the students decided to take this as a proof of Harry's madness.

 _Taking the brush, Harry tried to put it on the mess that he called hair and started to untangled it._

"- Potter are you daft !"

"- What's your problem Malfoy ?" asked Harry in a tired tone.

"- Of course your hair is a mess ! You don't even know how to brush your hair. For that sort of hair you have to use some product, and a comb ! Not a brush."

"- A brush, a comb ? What's the difference ? They are both used for hair." Harry rolled his eyes.

Malfoy and lots of people gasped. And those person started to give advices from every where, people who didn't care, such as Harry started a debate on the difference. It was chaos. Minerva stared at Severus's hair.

"- Minerve I use a comb and shampoo, you should know my hair are affected by the time I spend making potions. Now, will you please stop your staring ?"

"- Of course. Sorry Severus." Minerva turned her head to hide her blush.

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled and he said, "I favor brush to untangle my beard." Some teacher groaned. Sinistra started to think that maybe she didn't get that much to stay in this school.

Padfoot barked at Remus, the man rolled his eyes. At Harry's questionning glance, he answered that Padfoot wanted Remus to brush his fur.

After five minutes everyone calmed down, they had seen Umbridge opening her toady mouth. The video continued as silence came.

 _Harry brushed two more times before throwing the brush back on his bed. He shouldn't even have bought one, it was useless. Laying on his bed he started humming a familiar song, well familiar song for muggleborns and halfblood._

Those who recogized the rythm started to grin. Hermione turned her head to Harry to told him that she recognize the song but the boy was blushing red.

"- Don't tell me you"

"- Yes." cut Harry.

Padfoot and Moony gave questionning glance at Harry, who only ducked his head.

 _Harry suddely got up and took his brush. He casted a silencing charm over the room._

The non-pureblood gasped, and watched the screen with anticipation and big eyes, their hero ! Their hero ! Was he going to do what they thought ?

 _Bobbing his head Harry started to sing, if he wasn't too loud and with the charm Neville and Ron would not know._

 _"- Primadonna girl, yeah~"_

They all understand he was going to sing. The twins grinned evily and grinned at Harry, who tried to hide his head. This was humiliating. Only Ron, Neville, Seamus, Dean understood. It would have been okay if he only had a good voice. Or only a bad voice. But Harry, when he was really into a song, his voice got girly.

 _"All I ever wanted was the world_  
 _I can't help that I need it all."_

 _Harry started walking like a girl. He was so good when he does parody._

 _"The primadonna life, the rise and fall_  
 _You say that I'm kinda difficult_  
 _But it's always someone else's fault"_

 _He watched himself on the opposit mirror and did expressions to accompany his voice._

 _"Got you wrapped around my finger, babe_  
 _You can count on me to misbehave"_

 _He pointed his finger at his mirror self, and even winked._

They all started snorting, some hiding their laughter.

 _"Primadonna girl,"_

 _Harry was on the middle of the room. He was a superstar ! What he didn't see was Neville entering the room, he had finished his shower. And as he was in the room, the silencing charm didn't function anymore on him. (_ That's why the camera could still record the sound, thought some Ravenclaws, it was still in the room _).Neville decided to let Harry be free. The poor boy was always stressed with something deadly._

 _"Would you do anything for me?_  
 _Buy a big diamond ring for me?" Harry started moving his feet and arms with the rythm._

Parvati thought that Harry did make progress since the Yule ball.

 _"Would you get down on your knees for me?_

 _Pop that pretty question right now, baby"_

 _At that moment Harry turned around, he was facing and pointing his finger at Neville. The two of them were standing there frozen._

Someone started laughing in the hall, and people couldn't keep it in any more, they were laughing at the timing. Harry and Neville were blushing. Ron decided to be a good bestfriend to Harry.

"- Neville take care of Harry okay? He always have nightmare, and doesn't know how to comb his hair, promise me you'll protect him ?"

Harry punched his bestmate on the side. Here, Harry was blushing, and here Ron was joking around, and poor Neville. Of course Hermione as a good friend waasn't making fun of him. He glanced at Mione. The girl was crying tears of laugh. That's it the both of them were so mean ! He mock pouted.

 _"- Continue Harry, don't worry. I'm just passing." Brown eyes met green eyes. A silent agreement passed. And strangely enough Harry felt himself calming._

 _"- No it's okay. I-I'm finished."_

 _Ron entered the room._

 _"- Mate, what are you doing with that brush ?"_

 _"- Nothing."_

 _"- Okay..." Ron analysed the situation, "ah, you were singing again huh?"_

 _Nodding the red faced Harry went to put his brush back in it's place._

 _An awkward silence took place. Harry was sitting on his bed doing nothing, well he actually was thinbking about hiding somewhere... while Neville and Ron finished dressing up._

"- Mr Potter ! You really should join our choir ! Your voice is really beautiful !" said Flitwick.

Again people decided to laugh as Harry said a hesitant thanks to his professor.

 **Chapter 9 : Writing a book**

Sirius couldn't stop laughing with his bark, what a weird sound. His godson was really fun. At first he didn't understand Dumbledore's message. But in the end he was happy to see Harry. To see him safe, not in danger, living life like he's suppose to be.

 _"- S-so, h-how will you both die tomorrow for Trelawney's prediction ?" Neville asked bravely to break the silence._

Hermione snorted. They were always at it.

 _Harry grinned at the boy._

 _"- I said that I'll slip on a banana peel, saddly enough it was on the staircase. And the boy-who-lived was the boy-who-lived-no-more."_

Some people raised an eyebrow at the end.

 _Neville snorted, Ron applauded Harry._

 _"- That's a new record Harry ! And you Ron ?"_

 _"- A red haired man walked toward his goal, unreachable as it was, he met the beaming light. And the light was darkness. He died."_

Trelawaney exclaimed in a mystical (or so she thought) voice. "This is a prophecy ! This will happen."

Mcgonagall muttered under her breath something about barmy teacher.

 _Two seconds of silence._

 _"- That was perfect mate !"_

 _"- Yeah it was mystical !"_

The student body laughed.

 _They all started laughing again. Harry tried to calm himself._

 _"- A-and you Nev' ? How are you going to die."_

 _"- I don't know but I know I have to."_

 _They shared a mischievious look. Harry turned toward Ron._

 _"- Let him use it Ron."_

 _"- But it's not finished Harry."_

Ron groaned.

"- Really ? Why are our secrets showed like that ?"

"- Don't worry Ron. We'll take revenge on the toad."

Harry glared at the pink witch.

 _"- Don't be like that, he could help us."_

 _"- Mmmh... You're right. Okay Nev', Harry and me are going to show you something that no ones should know."_

 _"- You see Nev', even Hermione don't know about it."_

Hermione had a pang in her heart. She thought thay shared everything together.

 _"- She won't approve. But of course we'll do it anyway and we'll show it to her after."_

Hermione was thankful, she thought they didn't want her on the secret. Waiting, she could do.

 _"- Yep !" Harry popped the p." So keep it a secret for now."_

 _Ron took an average book from under his bed. The cover was a deep brown, nothing was written on the cover. Ron gave the book to Neville, he had a smug smile on his face. Harry's green eyes were beaming at him and urged him to read the book._

A book ! What the heck ? Thought the majority of the students. Some elder students wiggled their eyebrows at their love interest.

 _"- Please! Please read it aloud ! I want to hear your voice while reading it."_

Malfoy did some kissing noise. Harry and Neville blushed a little, but Harry glared at the slytherin boy.

 _Ron threw a strange look at Harry, of course Harry responded by pulling his tongue._

"- Mature Potter." said the snarky potion master.

 _Neville read aloud._

 _"- Congratulation ! You found our book ! Of course, maybe it won't be useful for you. We hope this will help you. Dear Student, you are now the proud owner of 'More than one hundred way to die.' This book will be useful in divination, if you have a certain professor. Or maybe if you kind of want to commit suicide. If it's the second reason, please do not kill yourself, I'm sure everything will be okay. Enjoy your reading ~_

 _Signed Sir Temper, Sir Glutton, Miss Rules."_

Hermione smiled. They put her nickname in the book. Remus and Sirius smiled, they recalled a time when four boys were friends, and designed a map with the castle and its habitant.

 _"- What do you think ? Was it a good introduction ? I tried, but I'm sure Hermione will be more succesfull than me. Hopefully she'll help us."_

"- Guys of course, I'll help you." Hermione smiled at them, books were her things, and also writing a book with her friends, she always dreamed of doing that someday.

"- Thanks Hermione." answered Harry and Ron at the same time.

 _"- But we wanted to wait till the middle of it, or she won't take us seriously."_

 _Neville glanced at the worried Harry who was chewing his bottom lips, and Ron who had his hands on his red locks._

 _"- Guys this is perfect."_

 _"- Really ? !"_

 _"- Yes Harry. It's perfect. So, how many did you wrote ? More than forty I presume ?"_

 _Ron smiled sheepishly._

 _"- Only thirty, we started this year. And we also wanted to explain correctly why we wrote each things. Also we have to make some sort of explanation."_

Some people were surprised, how can you do that? Explaning something you invented ? That was weird.

 _"- Really ?"_

 _Neville couldn't believe it. His face was full of disbelief. Harry took the book and turned the pages before giving it back to Neville._

 _"- Read it."_

 _"- Way number thirteen._

 _This is a special one ! Remember that thirteen isn't a lucky number, or so they say. This time you can use this one to write your dream journal with Trelawney._

 _' I was walking in the forbidden forest, with each steps the mist was getting heavier and heavier, I was walking quicker, diving in the darkness. The air was no more, my lungs were empty. I was dead.'_

 _So little student, don't you find this one mysterious ?_

 _We'll analyse it together !_

 _The forbidden forest represent here not the forest in Hogwarts. It's the materialisation of your secrets. Your mind hide something from you, if you open this pandora boxx, it can kill you. The first sentence is cut with commas, it's a jolty sentence, there's a rythm, it represent movement. The mist which gets heavier with each steps represent how much you want to hide this secret, it also represent how it's a burden. We also emphasize on the verb 'walking' which becames 'walking quicker', why didn't we use running. Because even if you want to rush toward this box full of secrets, you know to be cautious, you know how much truth frightens you, you're hesitant. Do you really want to know this secrets ? Or are you oblige to ? Is it a want or a need. But then, you dive into darkness. In the end, you need to know. The second phrase meant that you shouldn't have come looking for this. You're paralized by it. You die, not of shock, it's more your innocence, you can't live in dreams, you have to confront the reality._

 _Hopefully this will be useful for you. For more information go to page 113. Good luck little student.'_

 _Oh my godric guys ! This is amazing ! can I use it for tomorrow ?"_

 _"- Of course Nev' !"_

 _The boys shared a grin._

The people who had taken divination started to give ideas to Harry and Ron. The professors were amazed, those two were average or more than average in their classes, but this was an ambitious work. Dumbledore's eyes twinkled fully. Trelawney was happy that her arts inspired someone.

"- Oh my little Ronnie is a writer !"exclaimed Molly. She got up and hugged her son, nearly crushing him.

"- Mom ! I c-can't breathe !"

"- Molly dear, release him."

"- Sorry Ronnie."

Remus and Sirius congraluted Harry. Some hufflepuffs asked Neville if the information from the book was really that good. Lots of people actually wanted it, to joke around or just because they needed help from Trelawney.

But the five boys dreaded one thing, what was going to be showed in the next video ?


End file.
